I’m a southern gal, born in Florida and raised in Texas. So I use sweet tea as my coffee and believe that “y’all” and “ain’t” are words. Biscuits and gravy, along with Tex-Mex, are staples of my diet. If it weren’t for the fact that I’m constantly sweating off fat (thank you, Texas summer weather), I’d probably be really overweight! By the way, speaking of weather, if you ever come to Texas – no matter what season – bring all sorts of clothes, long-sleeve and short-sleeve t-shirts, pants and shorts, coats and sweaters. Because you NEVER know what the weather might decide to do. It’s rather bi-polar down here.
You’ve been warned.
The thing I love most about the south is our sayings and our off-the-wall humor. Down below is a list of my favorite southern sayings and insults. It’s a lot more fun if you read them in a hick accent. Just sayin’.
“There’s too much month left at the end of the money.”
“If dumb were dirt, you’d be ’bout an acre.”
“I’m so blessed, I could step in cow manure and come out smellin’ like a rose.”
When something is for certain, you could say, “Is a frog’s butt watertight?”
“Don’t let your mouth overload your butt.”
If someone isn’t making much sense, you might say, “Man, your shirt is missing a few buttons!”
“If your brain was leather, it wouldn’t make a saddle for a june bug.”
“His cheese slid off his cracker.”
When you hear some disturbing news, you might say, “Well, that sure jars my preserves.”
“She gets tuckered out from her own chin music.”
“He’s two years older than dirt.”
“He’s about as sharp as mashed potatoes.”
When you’re referring to a time when you got the last word in an argument, you might say, “I sure preached his funeral!”
“She ain’t exactly ugly. She just looks better from a distance.”
“Well, don’t that just dill my pickle!”
If you’re surprised by what you’ve just heard, you might say, “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!”
Disclaimer: These sayings are taken courtesy of Butter My Butt and Call Me a Biscuit by Allan Zullo and Gene Cheek. It’s a pretty awesome book. You should check it out!